When 2014 was coming to a
close, I embarked on a journey of opening up about my past and sharing my story
regarding my battle with cancer to the world because the urge to tell it was eating
me up inside. After being encouraged by my family and receiving a lot of
support, I started writing. One night I had one mission before I entered my
sheets and that was to write at least two pages so I took my laptop and placed
it on my lap and stared at my blank Microsoft office page for a few minutes
before finally reaching for my keyboard. I didn’t know where to start or how
was I going to sum up a two-year experience into 100-150 pages. How was I going
to explain what happened me and why I got sick when I still didn’t understand
it as well? I didn’t know how to explain
what I felt and quite frankly, I was scared to revisit the old wounds that I
had carried for the last four years but I knew deep down in my heart I had to.
That night I started writing and everything flowed and there I was, three pages
down the line re-reading what I had written.
“Alright, I think I can do this,” I thought to myself before
surrendering to my sleepiness.
The following day, I was
super excited to get back to writing but unfortunately, I couldn’t get passed
the 2nd page because my heart was pounding and tears were flowing
down my cheeks onto my lap.
“I don’t think I can do this,” I said to myself, slamming my laptop shut and feeling a heavy load on my chest and a bit of disappointment.
The following morning, I met my uncle in the corridor who immediately asked me if I had started writing the book, I replied with an uncomfortable “not yet,” but what I really meant was “I can’t and I don’t want to.” However, at the back of my mind I knew I had to face it and get this book done. After a week, I decided to give it another shot and as smart as I was, I had forgotten to save my document before slamming it shut the last time I had attempted to write, now this left me angry adding to the 1000 reasons I had been giving myself on just letting it go. After gathering the courage to re-write everything again, by telling myself that it’s just another change to make it even better. By the end of the week, I was back on track and now writing had become my place for peace of mind, it was a feeling I do not know how to explain but I believe writing this book gave me a sense of purpose. My love for writing together with writing a story that would change lives someday gave me peace and urged me to write every day. Knowing that, as my fingers tapped the keyboard, I was a step closer to inspiring a life, helped me sleep well at night.
“I don’t think I can do this,” I said to myself, slamming my laptop shut and feeling a heavy load on my chest and a bit of disappointment.
The following morning, I met my uncle in the corridor who immediately asked me if I had started writing the book, I replied with an uncomfortable “not yet,” but what I really meant was “I can’t and I don’t want to.” However, at the back of my mind I knew I had to face it and get this book done. After a week, I decided to give it another shot and as smart as I was, I had forgotten to save my document before slamming it shut the last time I had attempted to write, now this left me angry adding to the 1000 reasons I had been giving myself on just letting it go. After gathering the courage to re-write everything again, by telling myself that it’s just another change to make it even better. By the end of the week, I was back on track and now writing had become my place for peace of mind, it was a feeling I do not know how to explain but I believe writing this book gave me a sense of purpose. My love for writing together with writing a story that would change lives someday gave me peace and urged me to write every day. Knowing that, as my fingers tapped the keyboard, I was a step closer to inspiring a life, helped me sleep well at night.
After a month, I was in over
my head. Writing had also become a hiding space from my feelings, I blocked
them out and focused my mind solely on writing this story and trying to vividly
remember every detail of the journey that I forgot to take time and heal my
soul first and for the first time, I started experiencing midnight panic
attacks. “What is happening to me?” I thought to myself. I thought I was
getting sick again and some nights were worse than others and the fact that I
didn’t know what was happening to my body made me feel worse. Writing my book
had resurrected all the emotional hurt and pain I had masked with a smile for
so long. I had taken my memory back to those hospital corridors and I physically
felt like I was back there. The tricks our minds play on us. I knew I had to
take a break from my writing and so I took a two-month break from writing and
decided to heal before healing others. After six sessions of counseling, I was
back on the horse again.
The time came where I had to
write again. Counseling helped me to re-write my book with a fresh and healed
mind which helped me dive into my story to share it boldly and openly, because
unless you have healed, you can’t open up and if you can’t open up, you can’t
inspire. People connect more with vulnerability and honesty. I knew I had to
lay every part of me on the table because cancer is a serious matter and you
have to give it your all in order to fight it and raise true awareness on the
issue that cancer doesn’t only affect you physically but also mentally. Even
though I was physically cancer free, I had realized that emotionally, I was
still fighting. I had to heal from that
too.
December 2015, I brought a finished
manuscript to Imagine We, my publishers. “I have done it,” I kept thinking to
myself whenever I worked in their offices during different meetings. It was the
most fulfilling yet most challenging experience so far and I was proud of
myself. Imagine We supported the vision behind my book and were on board with
the story, “My name is LIFE.” January
2017, I took another leap of faith and announced my upcoming book to the world.
I was really scared at first because you can’t know what to expect from opening
up to the world, but the love and the words of encouragement I received on that
day, I thought to myself, “OH MY GOD!” That night, all I asked God was, “Was
this it? Was this why you let me go through what I went through? If so Lord, I
surrender all unto you. Direct my steps.” Then I went to bed.
A week later, I held a fundraising event and
made an official announcement to the world about my journey and yet again,
encouragement kept flowing from family, friends and even people I didn’t know.
My heart was overwhelmed. After the event, I knew I had to deliver a perfect
book. The pressure was not easy but it definitely got a lot of good work done
despite the fact that we kept extending the launch dates. Meanwhile, I also
needed financial support to finally bring my book to life. During the first
week, it was hard because I was not getting all the financial support I needed
to meet my budget of 4 million rfw and it brought a lot of stress from running left
and right looking for sponsorship. Places where I thought I would rely on to
support the cause weren’t really responsive and I would quickly move to another
organization. Gathering the funds was challenging but eventually, God made a
way. By June 2017, I had gathered all the funds I needed from different
organizations that believed in me. It was game-on now.
Now came the editing,
possibly every writer’s worst nightmare… Seriously. I worked with three editors
and each time, it felt like I was literally re-writing the book all over again
because of all the things I had to add or remove but at the end of it all, it
was the best book. The pressure to launch grew on me and I had sleepless nights
trying to meet a deadline and be a student at the same time. It wasn’t easy
because when assignment deadlines knocked on my door, so did the book launch
deadline. At some point, I felt like my head was going to explode. My book was
my priority but so was my education and so I had to find a way to balance the
two, which was a balance really hard to maintain, but I had to do it. Many
times I thought of taking a semester break but I knew that’s how people usually
end up dropping out of school and that was not on my agenda.
Few months down the line and
I am done with the book and ready to finally print and launch, “My name is Life.” Is this how a pregnant
lady feels few weeks before the due date? I am raving with excitement and I
hope the world receives the love I have poured into writing this book. Also, I
would like to deeply thank my publishers at Imagine We for being patient and
supportive towards turning this book into a reality. It was not an easy journey
but it was worth it and I would do it over and over again just to experience
the satisfaction of the end result. Stay tuned.
PRICE: 5000 Entrance only
15,000 with a copy of the novel