SINGLEHOOD, A gift to self

        

      About 3 years ago, August 2016 to be more precise the lord visited me and by this visit I don’t mean I heard a loud big voice from heaven speaking down to me, his voice was rather smoothing and comforting. It was one night after I’d come from a date night with my boyfriend at the time, the night had been yet another dragged, unnatural date night and that had honestly been the common components of what made our relationship. It was a relationship that I had gone in thinking, “Oh he is a nice guy, let me give him a chance”. Mistake number one. There was also the fact that everyone around me said I was picky and I am going to die single is I don’t come down from my high horse. I always knew what I wanted but that time; I had given into the pressure and actually started believing that what I was looking for wasn’t out there. And so that night, when I got to my room and started getting ready for bed, my heart was an easy. What is wrong? I kept asking myself.

       See, I don’t know about some of you who’ve read “THE WAIT” by Devon Franklin and Megan Good but reading that book while in a relationship like the one I was in will complete wrench you and challenge the life out of you because that’s exactly what happened to me. When there’s lack of common interests and good conversations, the relationship tends to rely on the physical side and that’s what was happening in my relationship. At a point I started feeling like I needed better but unfortunately the wrong reasons of me being there always kept me there pushing. Pajamas on, and I am ready for bed. And that’s when I felt it in my heart, soul and minds that this, all of this and whatever all of this was needed to END.  

      

  That’s when I started praying and God started speaking to me about “Singlehood”, see I’d never really thought about this, all I knew was when you are single you are just there waiting for prince charming to lift you up your feet and live happily ever after, and when you are in a relationship, fam you just living your best life but what I didn’t know was that my life was about to be changed at that moment. “You need to be single”I heard it plain and clear. “Seek me, love me and serve. Didn’t I say and the rest shall be added unto you”believe me when I say Matthew 6;33, had never hit that hard until that moment right there. Confused and all, I just went under my covers and drifted off to sleep. The next day, the relationship ended in a very natural way (That’s another story, for another day.)

Few days later, there I was feeling like a new creature, ready to take on a new challenge and the whole world, I promise you the voice of God will make you feel that way.  Though, I t wasn’t easy to just hit the stop button on the relationship I knew it was those painful things you have to do basically reap the bandage off and move on. So I did.

FAST FORWARD…

It’s 2019, I have totally lived out my single life, I have published a novel, I have started a business and I had traveled a few places and enjoyed every bit of it. I never allowed myself any distractions, at this point I was well and content that God had really called me to this journey of singlehood. This is what almost 3 years of singlehood had done in me; I had healed from past woods, I had discovered my purpose, my relationship with God was deeper, I was serving in church and quite honestly my hair was growing and my skin was glowing too, this is real talk. This was the power of choosing self and so if y’all want to understand my passion for singlehood this is a few of the reasons why. I always tell the people close to me “Even as a married women, I will always encourage young ladies to give singlehood a try”. And when I say give singlehood a try, I don’t mean take a six months interval between relationships because healing takes a lot longer than that. I am living proof and I am not also saying that you need to take 3 years either but take enough time to experience the goodness of God that he has for you in the season of singlehood.

March, 31^th2019 my season of singlehood was over and God was taking me to another season, he was about to show himself differently again. See, this is why we always got to stay “OBEDIENT TO THE CALL”. What I was about to experience right then was the fruit of obedience. I am not saying obedience is easy in fact it is one of the hardest things I had to do; I had days where I was like TO HELL WITH THIS. I NEED TO BE BOOO’D UP AND I NEED IT NOW and that’s when God would send reminder. I discovered a few motivational speakers on YouTube whose goal was to encourage young ladies traveling through this season and of course the one that carried me throughout was “THE RELATIONSHIP GOALS” series By Pastor. Mike Todd from Transformation church in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Now, that one completely turned the tables for me. See I thought singlehood was a season to stay away from men etc but it’s much more than that, it’s a season of developing self-love, healing, exploring and a lot of soul searching. 

Up came this young, good looking, God fearing, loving and caring man. He came to my life very peacefully and just allowing everything to play out naturally. This man was everything I had been waiting on. He came at the right time and he came with the right intensions. With him, I experienced so much genuine love, good and constructive conversations. Our relationship started off on a foundation of deep honesty and vulnerability. He came with so much clarity and not a single sense of doubt and I knew God had delivered on his promise, I had handed him the keys to my heart and now he had found me a human on earth he would hand the keys to and all I had to do was allow him in. I knew this is the man of my dreams and the father of my children.

Something that I realized in my single season that I didn’t know was happening was that God was somewhere in there preparing me for the next season. Because when this man came, I was ready, I felt ready and every part of me was ready for the next big step from the get go. That is why, 7 months into our relationship he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, I said yes but my heart had said yes way before that. This was an official proposal; if I must call it so. The first proposal happened 3 weeks into our relationship and we started planning a future together. This has been one awesome journey and I owe it all to the obedience to the call of singlehood.